Ultimate Joy

Seventy Percent

Posted on: October 3, 2010

I’m scared.  There are thunderheads forming on the horizon of my life…huge, thick, menacing clouds carrying raging destruction.  Normally, I’m better at weathering the doom of an upcoming storm without the dread I now feel, but the truth is, I’m just plain not up to the fight.

Six weeks ago, I had surgery and in my silly, uneducated mind, I thought by now, I’d be 100%.  Recovery just can’t come soon enough for me, and despite the blessing of seeing progress each and every day, I want to be my old self again – the self that can laugh in the face of thunder.

I place my recovery at about seventy percent and long for the days when I can accomplish tasks without difficulty or pain.  Deep within every cell of my being, I feel the need for rest.  I’d like to hibernate through the winter and catch up with all of you in the spring.  But, I can’t do that, so each day, I push myself to do my best; knowing that I’m not doing everything I could do before surgery.

With or without surgery, life is tough.  There are days when getting out of bed is a monumental struggle. God gave us these bodies knowing that they would feel used up, worn out and broken down.  But He also gave us something else, and that’s His presence, His unique love for us.  The Lord told Jeremiah (1:8) “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.”  The Bible is filled with verses that say the same thing, “I am with you.”

Staying joyful in the midst of fear is challenging.  But the plain truth is that I am better at 70% with God than I am at 100% without Him.  With God, I can laugh at the distant thunder, can raise my head in praise as the wind whips up, can sing in the midst of a torrential downpour.  That’s because God is faithful and loving and much more powerful than any storm that comes my way. So even when I cry for hours that I’m not fully recovered, I can still hear the whisper of God, “Don’t be afraid; I am with you.  I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

That’s why there is always joy despite life turning you sideways.  I’ve learned that even though there are things that tumble you end over end, with the awesome God we serve, when you come out the other side, you are precisely where God wants you to be: rescued by Him.

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1 Response to "Seventy Percent"

Martha, your Seventy Percent essay was an inspiration to me! Love, Audrey-Jane

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